May 2009
73 posts
Beyoncé
Dad: I like that Beyoncé song. What is it called? I want you to give a ring to me?
Me: Single Ladies.
Dad: Yeah! "I'm a single lady! I'm a single lady!" I can sing it too, even though I'm not a lady.
Baseball
Me (after checking the Yankees-Rangers score on my phone): Hey, Phil Hughes is throwing a shutout!
Janine: What's that?
Me: It means he hasn't given up any runs.
Janine: Is that the same as a no-hitter?
Me: A no-hitter means the pitcher hasn't given up any hits. And a perfect game means no one has gotten on base.
Janine: So he's throwing a show-no?
Me: ...no, he's throwing a shutout.
Janine: What's a no-show? Is that when no one comes to the game?
“I don’t want to wet my pants.”
– Dad, while standing near the shore on a beach in Hawaii
WatchNew York Giants lineman David Diehl KILLING Brett Farve at an Improv Comedy Show. Awesome.
“If you come to our team my daddy says that maybe he will stop hitting me with...”
– South Side Sox makes an impassioned plea for Jake Peavy to agree to play for their team. I can only assume this letter was written by a member of this guy’s family. (via leitch)
The Terminal
On Saturday, I will be landing on the sunny shores of Hawaii. But first, I will be stuck on layover in Los Angeles International Airport for 8 and a half hours on Friday night. I try not to fall asleep in airports, so it will be interesting to see what adventures I can get myself into for the 8 and a half hours at LAX. I imagine my experience will be similar to the classic Tom Hanks movie, The...
The Lottery
Tonight was the 25th anniversary of the NBA Lottery. The Lottery, installed in 1985 after fears about teams deliberately losing games in order to receive a better NBA Draft pick, has become a basketball institution. It’s not a real game, but it’s the Lottery. The fourteen teams that didn’t make the playoffs each have a chance to turn their fortunes around by winning the #1...
WatchTremendous.
“I can see why advertisers hate WWE. Between the 17 year old boy next to me with...”
– Prowrestling.net reader Shaun Corbett
Bauer Hour
Manny: If I was Jack Bauer, I would make sure my kids are trained to defend themselves. Especially if I had a daughter, and especially if she was hot.
Me: Manny, why are you calling your daughter hot?
The Story of Tie Night
On a Monday in January of 2005, my roommate Manny came home from a day of student teaching. He was wearing nice shirt and a tie, and for some reason, he did not change out of his outfit into more comfortable clothes. He sat down in the living room, looking like a well-dressed homeless man, with a bag full of sunflower seeds. 24 was starting in a few minutes. It was a show we all watched...
Your 10,000th day
niner:
pile:
samreich:
Use Wolfram Alpha and search for your birthday + 10,000 days to figure out when your 10,000th day on Earth will be. You’ll be 27 and a half.
Mine is December 8th, 2011.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
September 18, 2010
“I don’t watch ESPN. I don’t believe half the [expletive] people on...”
– Jon Gruden in 2007.
“This is a tremendous opportunity and I am very excited to be associated with...”
– Jon Gruden in 2009
“Now, I too would be concerned about the multiple arrests dating as far back as...”
– via LZ Granderson’s amazing article about Dirk Nowitzki’s love life.
LZ needs to win the Pulitzer Prize for this story.
To the Class of 2009
Graduation day is one of the most defining days of a young person’s life. Whether high school, or college, or graduate school, it is one of the important crossroads an adult can reach. This is because after graduation day, life is pretty much over. Marriage, kids, and death are the only other milestones on the list. And they come a lot sooner than you want. I graduated from college four...
“Five dollar footlong is one of the best songs. That’s a hot song....”
– Ron Artest
List of my Top 5 favorite words (week of 5/11)
1. Vitriol 2. Chagrin 3. Perpendicular 4. Acromelagy 5. Ketchup
LOST - The Incident
What I liked:
—Jacob vs. ??? And so it turns out, there are two higher powers than Ben Linus and Charles Widmore, Jacob and his mystery friend in the black shirt. It seems like they have two difference stances on people coming to the island. Jacob believes they can enrich the life of the island, and vice versa, while Black Shirt believes they’re savages who will fight each...
“After more than a year of mostly silence, Roger Clemens spoke publicly yesterday...”
– SI.com Truth and Rumors
I wonder if Clemens inherited the lying idiot gene from his stepfather as well.
For and Against the Los Angeles Lakers
Since the Knicks are out of the playoffs, my main rooting interest in this year’s NBA playoffs is to see the best series possible. And the matchup that would draw the most excitement for year’s NBA Finals is Cleveland vs. Los Angeles. The Cavaliers vs. the Lakers. LeBron James vs. Kobe Bryant. It’s the most historically significant series possible. The two best teams in the...
10: Greatest fighters by decade
pacquiaonews:
1910s: Sam Langford — Small man beat the best big men of his day. Runner up: Jimmy Wilde.
1920s: Benny Leonard — Some still say he’s the greatest lightweight ever. Runner up: Harry Greb.
1930s: Henry Armstrong — Held titles in three weight classes simultaneously. Runner up: Tony Canzoneri.
1940s: Ray Robinson – Untouchable as a welterweight. Runner up: Willie Pep
1950s: Ray...
The Great Liar
I used to think I was a good liar when I was younger, but in retrospect, I may be looking at my fibbing experiences with rose-colored glasses. My lying consisted mostly of hiding detentions and telling them I was getting an A in science when I was really getting a C+. These lies would always come back to haunt me, because I never factored in my teachers calling my parents to ask why I was...
“The real appeal of the Star Trek series has been the characters, not the...”
– IMDB poster “Nanofrog” on Star Trek director J.J. Abrams.
Ready to order
Ordering food with my parents is like being on the floor at the New York Stock Exchange. Everything is a controlled chaos. There’s a mixture of panic and excitement at what they’re seeing. And in the end, at least one person is drenched in sweat, exhausted. That person is usually my dad, who sweats like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter of game 7 whenever he eats anything spicy....
Internet Access
Yesterday, I was at the Best Buy in Rego Park when I heard a song start playing over the loudspeaker. I couldn’t recall the name of the song or the singer, but I knew it. After singing along for about a minute, I remembered what the song was. It was “Dance Into The Light” by Phil Collins. I didn’t have to go to a computer to look up the song or anything like that. It...
At Breakfast
Me: So how's the third Twilight book treating you? Is it as romantic as the first two?
Manny: It's alright. The second book starts off with more action.
Me: So what do you like better? Twilight or Harry Potter?
Manny: Harry Potter by far.
Tarik: When did you read the Harry Potter books?
Manny: Only a couple of years ago.
Tarik: Oh wow, really?
Manny: Well, you have to understand, I didn't start reading until I moved here.
An A-Bomb from A-Rod
The first time Yankee fans started to refer to Alex Rodriguez as a real Yankee may have been in the 2004 ALDS, when he hit several clutch hits in extra innings in their win over the Twins. It may have been in 2005, when he hit his “I’m the MVP” statement home run in a September game at Fenway Park. Or perhaps it was back in 2007, when he hit a walk off grand slam against the...
LOST - Follow the Leader
What I liked: —They’re all going to die. I freaked out when Richard told Sun that he watched all of her friends die, and I’m still freaking out. —The end of the beginning. Jack and Sayid teaming up with Ellie to blow up the hydrogen bomb. I’m starting to suspect, like many other Lost fans, that the detonation of “Jughead” actually causes the...
A Great Tragedy
I have foreseen an evil that is about to be unleashed upon the world, and I am afraid I am powerless to stop it. The creator of this impending travesty is one of the most influential men in the world. A black man who rose to power unexpectedly, became an star because of his voice, an icon because of his actions, a legend because of his presence and style. This black man has risen to heights...